Piecemeal

Training is coming along piece by piece.  I'm feeling faster and stronger lately and when I take a break, it doesn't feel as much of a distraction as it once did.  Of course, take anything I say with a grain of salt because tomorrow I might be in a lousy mood and might feel completely different.

Running on Monday nights has become a regular thing for my schedule lately, but last night when my husband came home from his own hill cycling workout, I just wasn't feeling it.  Luckily he's never been one to let me slide by without doing what I've promised I would and he forced me out the door.  Stepping out the door, my plan was to run for 20 minutes and be back to watch our dvr'd episode of Smash (our guilty pleasure show).  However, once I got out there, I felt myself being drawn to keep going forward.  So instead of my usual propensity for cutting the run short because I wasn't feeling it, I was encouraging myself to go just that much further.  This is sooo not like me, but I so desperately want this race to go smoothly and to walk away from my first triathlon wanting to do another one.  I ran 2.34 (or so) miles in 30 minutes for a 12:39 pace.  While it pleases me to see pace numbers other than 14 or 15, I can't help but feel like I am missing out on my potential to do better.  I want to see 11's and 10's and I know I need to do some work to get there.

My swim today was good as well.  I am a complete airhead in the water though.  I am never ever able to keep count of how much I am swimming.  I am completely distracted by other swimmers and things going on outside of the pool.  I am extremely self-conscious about myself in all things athletic, but there is something about the people swimming on either side of me that brings out that horrible voice of self-doubt in my head.  It isn't even about my body image since that is under the water.  I'm sizing up their stroke, their speed and how effortless they look in comparison to what I think I look like.  It gets inside my head and gets all twisted up until I'm convinced that I look like a cat in water and that I have no business swimming in this pool.  The thing I have no business doing is letting all of this garbage in my head.  Triathlons need to include emotional training as well.

This reminds me of this awesome comic from The Oatmeal:

Keep on Truckin'

Here I am in the ninth week of my training with six more weeks to go. Whenever I think about the race, I get a knot in my stomach and my heart rate goes way up. The "trust your training" mantra plays out in my head in response, but it does nothing to quell the nervousness. Last week I attended a beginner's triathlon clinic which was put on by the Trinona race people. There wasn't really anything in it that I hadn't heard or seen before, but it was fun to go and hear about the race.

Since I last blogged, I've done a couple long bike rides, a few swims and one run. My schedule with work and the kids hasn't been ideal for sticking to my schedule as much as I'd like, but I'm trying to make it work.

My husband bought me a bike computer and I used it for the first time on a ride this Sunday.  I am desperate to get faster on the bike and I have to say that this little fella was a big help in that quest.  I watched the mph like a hawk and tried very hard to keep it up as high as I could.  I rode for about 13 miles with a pretty strong tailwind on the way out, which means I had a pretty strong wind in my face the whole way home.  For my race my plan is to do the 11 mile ride in 50 minutes or less, so I'll need to average a pace of about 13mph.  I'm very confident I can do that at this point, but I'd honestly love to do much better.

Last Friday while swimming I noticed first some tightness and then pain in my shoulder while doing the front crawl. I continued on with my laps thinking it would work itself out, but it only continued to hurt more as I swam. I haven't been in the pool since then, so I am hoping I've given it enough time to heal. I plan to swim tonight if I can fit it in. It is a big day at our house, my son has a performance tonight at his school and we're all very excited!

It didn't suck

I ran last night.  Outside.  It didn't suck.
Workout(Run / Jog) : Distance 2.34 mi, Duration 30:00, Pace 12:49, Speed 4.7 mi/h

It was cold and windy and I didn't want to go.  I was either going to pack up my bag and drive to the gym for a workout that probably would have ended up being yet another swim because I wasn't in the mood to run or bike or I was going to throw on my running shoes and head out the door.  I chose wisely.

I have run this route many times in the past and it has been painful for me.  As soon as I settled into a jog, I had the feeling this run was going to be different.  My breathing was easy and I found myself running much further without a walk break than I had in a very very long time.  In fact, I would say that I definitely ran a greater percentage of the route than I had ever been able to before.  I can tell my overall fitness is so much better.  I took quick, short walk breaks and picked up with running again without needing to convince my brain to follow along.  I really prefer running in the dark not only because no one is watching me, but also because it gives me less distractions than daylight and I am able to concentrate on the task at hand so much better.

My shins didn't hurt one bit, but I did have a side cramp early on that I worked through and my left foot was slightly uncomfortable.  None of these issues were enough to keep me from moving forward.  It felt great.  I needed it.

Yesterday was a very rough day and this run not only let me pound out some of my aggression, but also gave me a way to end my day on a high note.

Fantastico

I had a dish at the cafeteria today called Pasta Fantastico (penne, spinach, sun dried tomatoes, red pepper and parmesan cheese) and I really enjoyed the name of it.  It was tasty, too!

Things are going well these days and I feel like I've fallen into a nice regular routine with my workouts and even with my eating.  This past Friday my husband and I took the day off, mostly to catch a matinee of The Hunger Games, but also to sneak in a bike ride while the weather was nice.  We did about 13 miles on trails through town and it was very nice.  I'm getting to know my bike more and more every time I ride it and that helps with making me feel comfortable about racing on it this summer.  I finally kind of know which gear does what and where I need to be on big hills, downhills, etc.  Since I came to biking from a 3 gear cruiser, adding the extra gears and knowing what to do with them has been tough.

I wasn't able to get out and do anything on Saturday because we had our two nephews over for the weekend.  We played outside and I cleaned the garage, so I did get some movement in.  On Sunday I had a glorious day at the pool. I had been looking online at some swimming videos, just to see what those who really know what they're doing look like. My husband had been in some swimming classes with a coach at our gym that is really into immersion swimming and I decided to check that out:

 

Did you see how fluidly that guy moved?! I feel like I look like a cat that somebody threw into the water when I swim. That video got me thinking - what could I do to begin to move more like that guy? We also have a few books laying around the house on the subject, so I paged through one Saturday night while the kids were playing. Some things really stood out to me, especially the idea that swimming as hard and as fast as you can every single time you swim will not help to increase your speed, efficiency or endurance. This book was telling me to swim on my side and extend through my glide as much as I could and I would then feel like you're swimming downhill. Huh. So when I got into the pool on Sunday I had all of these thoughts running through my head and I really tried to concentrate on moving fluidly, extending my strokes and spending more time on my side. It worked! I used the pool buoy for a bunch of laps and I was feeling like I could swim all day. Even when I took the buoy out, I found that I was moving so much better than I had been before. My breathing was slow and constant, it was great! It felt like zen swimming and I was beginning to feel like that guy in the video (who knows what I actually LOOKED like though!). I was able to continually swim more than I ever had before. Yesterday I was able to get to the gym during work and get in a one mile run on a treadmill and about 200-250 yards in the pool. My swimming was once again so much more efficient than before Sunday.

Even my running was better yesterday.  I only did one mile because I was bored and couldn't wait to get back into the pool.  I tried pushing my speed though and felt really comfortable at 6.5 mph for short periods - um, that's a 9:17 min mile!  That is unheard of.  Of course, that was coupled with running mostly at 5mph and walking at 4mph, so it all basically worked out to be a 13 min mile.  But it is a start!

Feelin' hot hot hot

Today I conquered my first outdoor run on the training schedule.  I did 1.75 miles in about 20 minutes.  When I checked the weather before I left at noon it said it was already 72 degrees and climbing.  I live in Minnesota and the weather is terribly unusual for this time of year.  While a pleasant temperature for sitting outside and relaxing, I was not prepared for how hot 72 degrees would feel while running. I was a sweaty mess!  A beating red, sweaty mess.  And I know it wasn't just me because my husband ran (elsewhere) at the same time and he said the same thing.

My shins still bother me while running walking.  I did get this checked out last summer to eliminate any serious injuries and it was diagnosed as straight-up shin splints.  I went to Sports Medicine and they gave me some stretches to do, but they haven't helped.  The only thing that seems to help is putting more miles on my legs.  The more running/walking I do, the easier it gets with time.  Here's hoping that by June I'll be in a place of no pain for the race.

BRICK.

I'm still coming off the high of completing my first brick workout (bike + run) today, so I figured I'd blog while the happy cells are still alive in my body. The Expresso bikes that I had used earlier this week were all occupied, so I tried out the LifeFitness bikes. I liked it, didn't like how comfortable the seat was. I want to try to mimic my road bike as much as I can on these training rides and if the seat doesn't have me in pain for days, it isn't like my road bike! Otherwise, the program was kind of similar. I just did a flat course for 4 miles at a pretty moderate to hard resistance. I don't know the technical terms for these things, so hopefully I'm making sense. I pushed it today, much more than I did on Monday. Did my 4 miles in just under 15 minutes. My goal for my 11 mile race course is 50 minutes, so it seems as though I'm right on track. Of course, this wasn't after swimming, but I am at the beginning of my training. I have room to improve.

During my ride, I was feeling the burn in the old legs and this song came on:
Gave me just the push of energy I needed! Love Walk the Moon.

Now...
Running...
Oh running, you jerk.
We've met many times before and I didn't like you then.  I think for me, running is like that one (or more than one if you're particularly unlucky) family member who you just cannot be in the same room with, but who sometimes you just have to put up with for the sake of your other family members - at birthday parties, graduations, weddings, etc.  Running eyes me up from across the room, I see him, he sees me and we both pretend the other is invisible.  For the sake of my beloved biking and my new friend swimming, I will allow running to join the party.  But I'm not ready to speak to him.

I did about a mile and a half on the treadmill at 5-6 mph run and 3.5-4 mph walk. I walked more than I ran.  Here's my problem...I know I can do better.  I KNOW I can.  But I am much much too easy on myself.  I need to find my inner Dolvett Quince (anyone watch Biggest Loser?  I don't.  I just happened to catch last night's episode while folding laundry) and kick my butt into running more.  But how?  Any suggestions??


 

Near defeat

The Women's Race. Wow.

This was the most challenging race I have run thus far. Even my half marathon was not so challenging. One thing that it did confirm was that I am definitely not a warm weather runner. It was very hot and humid Saturday morning. I really had been dreading this race altogether for some time, but I had registered for it a long time ago, when I was still gung-ho about running. Since I had paid my money and told everyone I was going to run it, I figured I had at least better show my face. I was incredibly nervous, but I went.

Before the start of the race I chatted with a few of the runners I know, which calmed me down a bit. But as we lined up at the starting line, I just did not have a good feeling about things. I always look around to try to identify people "like me." I like to try to find my fellow back of the packers so that I can feel comfortable in not being surrounded by former track stars in their matching sports bras and short shorts. I have been surprised before though when the people I think are going to be as slow as me are actually much faster, so I only put a little bit of stock into my identification. The race director gave the Ready, Set, Go signal and we were all off running. I kept in pace with those at the back for a while, but could feel myself fading back quickly, especially when I began to feel the heat early on. I began to walk at about the 1/2 mile marker for just a minute at a time at first and then that gradually increased to running about 2 min, walking 3 min...running 2 min, walking 5 min...and so on.

By mile one, I was so emotionally beaten down that I seriously considered quitting. It is amazing how powerful the mind can be! At first my brain was trying to convince me that quitting is a perfectly acceptable thing to do; plenty of people quit during races due to heat and pain and I should not feel so bad about it. Then it would turn on me and try to convince me to keep running/walking because if you quit, you cannot wear the cute tanktop (see photo below) from the race and when everyone asks you how you did, you will have to own up to your failure. You will be miserable. I took a minute to stop, pull off to the curb and think about what I should do. The course was running a 2 mile loop around a lake twice to complete the 4 miles. There is a trail that cuts a slightly shorter return route back to the finish line than the race route. I thought about just walking the trail back and giving up. I actually began to walk onto the trail to head back until something in me realized that the walk back on the course would be only slightly longer than on the trail. What if I just stuck it out along the course, completed my first loop and THEN decided if I wanted to continue!? So I got myself back on course (in dead last position) and waddled my way along the route. As I approached the finish line area, the lead runners began to lap me. About 5-7 women finished the whole race before I even completed my first 2 miles.

A friend of mine, and a great runner, was one of the lucky (and speedy) women to finish just before I passed by the finish line. She called out to me with a "Good job, Jessica!" Although this is really just a little thing and only one piece of encouragement I received during the race, it made a huge difference. This same woman struggled through her own self-doubt last April during the Boston Marathon. She nearly gave up during that race many times, but somehow made herself stumble to the finish to complete what was probably her toughest race. I had to finish. So as I was letting all of this sink in, the waterworks began. I was just beyond mile 2, dead last and sobbing like a child. It must have been just what I needed though because I pulled myself together and began a really nice, comfortable pace of running and walking. I was in the groove, I could barely feel my legs and they seemed to be working on their own. It was kind of shocking and amazing, but I let it happen because I was certain that this was the only way I was going to make it through the next 2 miles. Around mile 3 I passed the only 2 girls ahead of me that were even reachable by that point. I thought: Oh my god, if I can keep up this pace, I wouldn't finish in last place!

I found every last bit of strength inside of me to just keep running/walking and to keep ahead of those 2 girls. Before the race, I had set myself the goal of finishing in under an hour. I didn't care if I finished at 59:59, as long as it was under an hour, I'd be happy. As I got to the finish line, I realized that the clock was at about 58:00. Holy crap, not only am I finishing an impossible race, but I am NOT finishing last...AND I will beat my goal time!

After collecting myself and taking some fluids I walked to the picnic shelter where the other runners were hanging out. I found that woman whose own struggles and encouragement pulled me through the race and I thanked her for what she unknowingly did for me. We both cried a little bit, it was nice.

Even tough the "cute tanktop" is a little too tight on me, I will still wear it with pride. I earned it.

I am still waiting to hear from the cycling store about the bicycle that I ordered. Of the two options in my previous post, I ordered the orange Electra Townie 7D, I am SO excited!! They told me it would take a week and I ordered it last Wednesday - so they better call soon!

I am getting increasingly nervous about my 4 mile Women's Race this Saturday. My running has suffered due to our busy summer schedule and the recent heat/humidity we've been having. I know I can do the 4 miles, but what I am nervous about is the fact that - once again - I will be coming in last. It isn't that I am embarassed about my slow speed, it is just hard to know that everyone is waiting on you. Luckily, what makes me feel better is that the women runners in this town (and most of the males as well) are UBER supportive!

My husband is a member of the local running club and is even a member of their board. So he knows just about everyone that runs locally and through him I've met a lot of runners myself. I feel so priviledged to know these women - who are older, faster, smarter, nicer runners than me! They're my heros and mentors and they serve to encourage me through every single step of my running. So it is difficult when I know that I am going to be SO slow, I don't want to disappoint them. Yes, yes - I know - they're probably just happy to see me out there running, no matter the speed. I know that. It is just hard to believe - which is why these women are SO amazing to me.

Speaking of running apparel...

While traveling for work in Chicago this week, I picked up His 'n Hers versions of this shirt for the hubby and I:


It is a shirt for the Human Race 10k, which is a "race" put on by Nike in like 25 cities around the world. You can either race in one of the official events or run in your own city with the Nike Plus technology (iPod with special attachment). I don't really plan on participating, though I think it is a neat event. I just really like the shirt! The design is a woman running figure that is made up of the names of all of the cities putting on the race - very cool. It is Dri-Fit, which doesn't mean a whole lot in that it is 60/40 cotton to poly...so not bad for running, but not great.

We are participating in the Running Room's 20 min Challenge tonight and plan to wear our shirts like the big dorks we are! HA!

What is all this about skirts!?

This month's issue of Runners World provides a large feature on my best running friend: running skirts. My husband forwarded the story to me because he knows how much I love them. I frequently read the oft hillarious and usually true to real life musings on Jezebel, but was disturbed today to find a posting about the RW article that pounced on the idea of the skirt.

The most disappointing thing about Jezebel's response to the running skirt was the comments that followed. The majority of the women commenting clearly have not tried a skirt. Many of them think of wearing a skirt is comparable to wearing makeup for a run. They comment that they try hard to not be noticed while exercising and that a skirt would only draw attention to them.

I am not cool enough to be a commenter on the site, but if I were I'd have a lot to report back to these naysayers. Most importantly I'd say this:

What would be worse? Me running in a pair of shorts with the legs riding up into my crotch or me running in a skirt that delicately falls over my thunder thighs!?

Don't knock 'em till you try 'em!

What?!? Fans??

Woah. I've been absent for a while, I know. But somehow I stumbled back onto my blog today, I'm not sure why. Lo and behold, I see that I've racked up a few comments from people during my absence! Woah. It looks like I have some fans, haha. Who knew?! Well, after seeing that discovery, I've been inspired to write again and dare I say it...maybe even RUN again! Oh the shock!

So thank you to megan hall, wendy, pamela ann and runmomma - thank you for kicking me in the ass today!! :-)

Oookay, down to business. I have 2 races coming up and I have not run (not even one mile) in weeks! EEEK!!! I am signed up to do a 4 mile women's race on July 19th, so that's in um, 10 days. Then I am also registered to do a 10 mile race the following weekend on July 26th. What the hell was I thinking when I mailed in those registration forms?! Oh, I know...I was thinking that I better sign up for races this summer so that I wouldn't lose my motivation to run! HA! So much for that plan. Well, now it is dangerously close to these dates and I really need to get my neglected butt out the door.

After dark (and after the humidity subsides) tonight I am going to do a 2 mile run. No excuses. I know that I am going to come in last in both of these races and I'd atleast like to do it with some dignity, haha.

In other news, I am on a new kick lately: buying a bicycle. I haven't had a working bike for about 6 years and I really miss the freedom of hopping on one to just go short distances. Also, I feel a little (okay, A LOT) guilty about driving my fat ass to work everyday for 2.5 miles and then paying $10 for parking. I know, I know. If you want to blame someone for gas prices or global warming or whatever - I'll take it. Totally deserve it.

So anyway, these are the bikes I've been looking at:

Trek Pure Lowstep

Electra Women's Townie 7D

Aren't they so adorable!? I am headed over to the bike shop tonight to give them a spin. I figure that the extra exercise of riding to work 3 days a week couldn't hurt my sorry state. I am very excited!! Hey who knows - maybe next I'll try swimming and before you know it, I will be doing an Ironman!!! AHHHH HAHAHAHAAA.

I've got big thighs. Always have, even at my skinniest. Shorts + running = lots of riding up and pulling down, riding up and pulling down, and so on. Therefore, even before I knew that running skorts/skirts existed, I was looking for an alternative. When I searched for that alternative, I found the running skirt community. But I was still amazed when I looked through the skirts available and found that it seemed like only skinny girls were wearing them. I bought the running skirt at The Running Room in an XL and it fit, but just didn't feel right when I ran in it. The shorts were riding up and the skirt would as well. It didn't seem like an alternative to the shorts, in fact I found that I was pulling them down even more. Friends of mine were planning to order team skirts for a relay race from RunningSkirts.com and offered to throw one in for me to get the discount. I looked through the whole site and at the time I could again only find skinny girls. They said that their skirts went up to a size 16/18, but I couldn't be sure that it was a TRUE 16/18 or the same as the Running Room XL I already had. I emailed the company to ask and they assured me that it was true to size. I still just couldn't seem to invest the money without being sure. Soon after that I found running skirts at Shopko (a Target-like store in MN and WI). They were comfortable and had a bit of the coverage I was looking for, but again something just wasn't right. When I decided to run the Green Bay Half Marathon, I knew I had to find something that was better to wear for that distance. So I went back to RunningSkirts.com and looked through their photos one more time - and low and behold there were FAT GIRLS like me! They were wearing the athletic-style skirt with the shorts underneath and a little more length in the skirt. Hallelujah! I quickly ordered one in the size 16/18 and anxiously awaited its arrival. My inaugural use of the skirt was for the 15k that I mentioned yesterday. I was completely amazed that it did not ride up on me and I actually felt comfortable walking/running around in it with my thunder thighs. I wore the same skirt for the half marathon and felt the very same way about it. I was so happy that I took the leap and bought one. Without sounding like a commercial for the company - seriously, fellow full-figured runner girls - buy one of these skirts!! I couldn't run without mine!!

Dead Last

I just read an older post on one of the Athena-themed blogs that I stumbled upon recently. RunAthena wrote about her feelings on a 15k that she had just finished. It was a local race and she was at the back of the pack the entire time. While running she thought back to her very first 5k when she ran with an injured knee and was greeted just short of the finish line by her sons who yelled "All right Mom! You're not last!" There were just a few elderly walkers behind her, but it was true - she was not the last one to cross the line. So while finishing the 15k and knowing she was the last person she thought back to that comment from her sons. She was literally the last person, but really she did have people behind her and always will. The runner that she once was will always be behind her. I truly could not have expressed these feelings better myself and it seems as though she lifted this scene right from my very own life.

In early May I ran the longest race that I had attemped up until that point. The local running club's spring classic 15k was going to be the practice race for my upcoming first half marathon. I had an excellent experience running the race, but I finished DEAD LAST. This happens pretty much any time I run a local race that isn't a 5k with walkers. I have literally been pushed through the course by the sweep car in my first 8k race (though I did get a PR!). Most other runners, spectators and volunteers have gone home and little or no food/drink is left at the finish line when I'm done. While at the time it does feel incredibly demoralizing, I can now certainly see that those experiences aren't all I've cracked them up to be. Because no matter when I finish, my former, non-running-self will always be the one coming in last.

The first

I ran my very first half marathon last month and let me tell ya, it was cool. So cool that I have already signed up for my second half marathon.

Here is a recap of my experiences:
Although I felt like I was ready to complete the 13.1 miles about a week or so before the race, I began getting very nervous. My biggest fear with running/racing has always resulted from the fact that I am so slow. I picked Green Bay for my inaugural race because it seemed very first-timer friendly and the results from 2007 showed many people finishing in well over 3 hours. However, I was still very afraid of being dead last and having the waterstops or finish line pack up before I was finished. It is this fear that literally keeps me running, I feel as though I am being chased by the possibility of not actually being able to finish the race. Therefore, I was nearly immobilized by this fear up until the gun went off! The bus ride from the hotel to the starting area was nearly vomit inducing. I couldn't even talk to the family members also running the race with me. It was bad. I actually am not sure I ever relaxed that day.

My favorite part of the entire experience was lining up at the start line. Well, I say line...but we all know that I was nowhere near the actual line until about 5 minutes after the gun went off. I was firmly stationed at the back of the pack until that point. The feeling around me was electric as Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get It Started" played loudly over the speakers. It made me want to dance and sing outloud, but I restrained myself so that I didn't lose any of the important energy that I would need later at mile 11. Sometime after crossing the start line, some woman came up behind me and asked me "Where is the rest of your team??" I had forgotten that I was wearing a shirt made just for the day with pictures of myself and my fellow family runners that said Team Schmitt. I explained to her that we all run different paces, so we aren't literally running this race together. She asked me what my goal finish time is and when I told her three hours she quickly got lost in the crowd again. I should have remembered her bib number to see where she finished. She obviously had some problem with slow runners like me. Haha!

I am torn about how I feel toward finishing the race. I am proud of what I did, but I have a hard time feeling like it is anything extraordinary. It is a big deal to do the 1/2 marathon, but what if you took longer than most walkers to finish it?

I know I'm not alone

When looking through websites and blogs devoted to running, I always keep an eye out for people like me. People who are not naturally good at running. People who have weight to lose. People who run slowly...VERY slowly. People who try and try to improve, but still find themselves running 14 minute or slower miles. I know they're out there, but I hardly ever see them. Even people who claim to be "back of the packers" or part of the "Penguin Brigade" still seem to always run faster than me. So here I am, trying in some small way to bring a voice to us speed-challenged people out there.

I accomplished a major goal just 2 weekends ago: I completed my very first half marathon. I have been getting a lot of questions from people about why I ran and how I came to decide to make the half marathon my goal. Most people probably just look at me and wonder - she's a runner!? I guess the answer to the first question is that I ran the race for many reasons. 1. I wanted to know if I could do it, 2. I get so jealous watching my husband run marathons that I wanted to have some piece of that satisfaction and fun, 3. I was hoping to lose some weight, 4. I really doubt that I will ever be able to pull off 26.2 miles, so why not do half?