I've got big thighs. Always have, even at my skinniest. Shorts + running = lots of riding up and pulling down, riding up and pulling down, and so on. Therefore, even before I knew that running skorts/skirts existed, I was looking for an alternative. When I searched for that alternative, I found the running skirt community. But I was still amazed when I looked through the skirts available and found that it seemed like only skinny girls were wearing them. I bought the running skirt at The Running Room in an XL and it fit, but just didn't feel right when I ran in it. The shorts were riding up and the skirt would as well. It didn't seem like an alternative to the shorts, in fact I found that I was pulling them down even more. Friends of mine were planning to order team skirts for a relay race from RunningSkirts.com and offered to throw one in for me to get the discount. I looked through the whole site and at the time I could again only find skinny girls. They said that their skirts went up to a size 16/18, but I couldn't be sure that it was a TRUE 16/18 or the same as the Running Room XL I already had. I emailed the company to ask and they assured me that it was true to size. I still just couldn't seem to invest the money without being sure. Soon after that I found running skirts at Shopko (a Target-like store in MN and WI). They were comfortable and had a bit of the coverage I was looking for, but again something just wasn't right. When I decided to run the Green Bay Half Marathon, I knew I had to find something that was better to wear for that distance. So I went back to RunningSkirts.com and looked through their photos one more time - and low and behold there were FAT GIRLS like me! They were wearing the athletic-style skirt with the shorts underneath and a little more length in the skirt. Hallelujah! I quickly ordered one in the size 16/18 and anxiously awaited its arrival. My inaugural use of the skirt was for the 15k that I mentioned yesterday. I was completely amazed that it did not ride up on me and I actually felt comfortable walking/running around in it with my thunder thighs. I wore the same skirt for the half marathon and felt the very same way about it. I was so happy that I took the leap and bought one. Without sounding like a commercial for the company - seriously, fellow full-figured runner girls - buy one of these skirts!! I couldn't run without mine!!

Dead Last

I just read an older post on one of the Athena-themed blogs that I stumbled upon recently. RunAthena wrote about her feelings on a 15k that she had just finished. It was a local race and she was at the back of the pack the entire time. While running she thought back to her very first 5k when she ran with an injured knee and was greeted just short of the finish line by her sons who yelled "All right Mom! You're not last!" There were just a few elderly walkers behind her, but it was true - she was not the last one to cross the line. So while finishing the 15k and knowing she was the last person she thought back to that comment from her sons. She was literally the last person, but really she did have people behind her and always will. The runner that she once was will always be behind her. I truly could not have expressed these feelings better myself and it seems as though she lifted this scene right from my very own life.

In early May I ran the longest race that I had attemped up until that point. The local running club's spring classic 15k was going to be the practice race for my upcoming first half marathon. I had an excellent experience running the race, but I finished DEAD LAST. This happens pretty much any time I run a local race that isn't a 5k with walkers. I have literally been pushed through the course by the sweep car in my first 8k race (though I did get a PR!). Most other runners, spectators and volunteers have gone home and little or no food/drink is left at the finish line when I'm done. While at the time it does feel incredibly demoralizing, I can now certainly see that those experiences aren't all I've cracked them up to be. Because no matter when I finish, my former, non-running-self will always be the one coming in last.

The first

I ran my very first half marathon last month and let me tell ya, it was cool. So cool that I have already signed up for my second half marathon.

Here is a recap of my experiences:
Although I felt like I was ready to complete the 13.1 miles about a week or so before the race, I began getting very nervous. My biggest fear with running/racing has always resulted from the fact that I am so slow. I picked Green Bay for my inaugural race because it seemed very first-timer friendly and the results from 2007 showed many people finishing in well over 3 hours. However, I was still very afraid of being dead last and having the waterstops or finish line pack up before I was finished. It is this fear that literally keeps me running, I feel as though I am being chased by the possibility of not actually being able to finish the race. Therefore, I was nearly immobilized by this fear up until the gun went off! The bus ride from the hotel to the starting area was nearly vomit inducing. I couldn't even talk to the family members also running the race with me. It was bad. I actually am not sure I ever relaxed that day.

My favorite part of the entire experience was lining up at the start line. Well, I say line...but we all know that I was nowhere near the actual line until about 5 minutes after the gun went off. I was firmly stationed at the back of the pack until that point. The feeling around me was electric as Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get It Started" played loudly over the speakers. It made me want to dance and sing outloud, but I restrained myself so that I didn't lose any of the important energy that I would need later at mile 11. Sometime after crossing the start line, some woman came up behind me and asked me "Where is the rest of your team??" I had forgotten that I was wearing a shirt made just for the day with pictures of myself and my fellow family runners that said Team Schmitt. I explained to her that we all run different paces, so we aren't literally running this race together. She asked me what my goal finish time is and when I told her three hours she quickly got lost in the crowd again. I should have remembered her bib number to see where she finished. She obviously had some problem with slow runners like me. Haha!

I am torn about how I feel toward finishing the race. I am proud of what I did, but I have a hard time feeling like it is anything extraordinary. It is a big deal to do the 1/2 marathon, but what if you took longer than most walkers to finish it?

I know I'm not alone

When looking through websites and blogs devoted to running, I always keep an eye out for people like me. People who are not naturally good at running. People who have weight to lose. People who run slowly...VERY slowly. People who try and try to improve, but still find themselves running 14 minute or slower miles. I know they're out there, but I hardly ever see them. Even people who claim to be "back of the packers" or part of the "Penguin Brigade" still seem to always run faster than me. So here I am, trying in some small way to bring a voice to us speed-challenged people out there.

I accomplished a major goal just 2 weekends ago: I completed my very first half marathon. I have been getting a lot of questions from people about why I ran and how I came to decide to make the half marathon my goal. Most people probably just look at me and wonder - she's a runner!? I guess the answer to the first question is that I ran the race for many reasons. 1. I wanted to know if I could do it, 2. I get so jealous watching my husband run marathons that I wanted to have some piece of that satisfaction and fun, 3. I was hoping to lose some weight, 4. I really doubt that I will ever be able to pull off 26.2 miles, so why not do half?