Carrying on

I wrote a tiny bit here about my best friend who had cancer.  She passed away earlier this week.  She had been sick for two years and although we knew she was dying, I had not fully accepted that she would one day be gone forever.  The past couple of days have been very difficult.

The last time I saw her we just hung out and talked about so many things.  I told her that I was going to be doing a triathlon in a couple of weeks and she was so impressed and proud of me.  I'll be carrying that with me as an incentive to do this race and to give it my all.  I'm going to race for Lora.

I've been feeling very depressed and kind of lackadaisical all week, so I was not exactly enthusiastic about having to jump in the pool today.  But I suited up and got myself into the water and began my laps.  The more laps I did, the easier it felt and I really started to get into a place where only breathing was on my mind and it felt good to feel empty for a change.

I think all of those hours of watching Olympic swimming on tv have paid off a bit because after scrutinizing their techniques and kind of mimicking what I thought they did, I got into a groove that felt really natural today.  Gosh, I may have even felt like a swimmer.  Dare I say that?!

Oh!  And I really had to laugh at myself today...
There is a sign next to the pool with all kinds of reminders and rules.  It also states the distance of the pool:
Each lane is 25 yards.  33 laps or 66 lengths equals one mile. 
Guess who read that as 66 laps equals one mile???   This guy!
This whole time I've been thinking that I needed to do 33 laps to get in a half mile.  WUT??
And that is after I had calculated everything out at my desk at work weeks ago!  I had a cheat sheet on my desk that told me that I needed to do 17.6 laps for a half mile.  But I'd go to the pool, see that sign and somehow that cheat sheet was completely erased from memory.  I know, I'm a weirdo.  Sheesh.

Soooo - last week when I said that I had gone a little over a quarter mile...yah, I actually swam a half mile.  Doh.  Hello confidence booster!

I did the Tour de Tonka this weekend and ended up just sticking with the 26 miles.  It was for the best.  I was so ready to be off of my bike at ohhh...mile 11 that I knew I had made the right choice.  The weather was perfect for the ride - overcast, cooler and a bit rainy.  I had some technical problems though - my front tire was nearly completely flat for the first 5ish miles.  Thankfully they had bike mechanics at the rest stops who filled up the tire for me.  Then somewhere around mile 10, the screw came off of my shoe cleat so I couldn't clip in.  The same thing happened to me at the Saint Paul Classic last fall and I was able to get another screw at a rest stop.  I stopped at the rest stop around mile 16, but there was just one guy working on bikes there and he didn't have any extra screws.  He straightened out the cleat for me and tightened it the best he could, but at some point it became crooked again and I couldn't clip in for the rest of the ride.  It wasn't so bad, but I made a major mental note to pack an extra wrench and screws for my next ride (race)!!

Half Mile

Today is one of those - oh my god, what am I thinking!?? - kind of days.
The triathlon I'm now racing includes a half mile swim.  I've been assured by others that I will be able to do this, but I haven't been convinced myself yet.  I swam a little over a quarter mile today at the pool and felt really great, but to do twice that?!  In open water?!  OH.BOY.

Aaaand we're back to being scared again...

This weekend I'm doing the Tour de Tonka, which is pretty much right out my parents' front door.  I am pretty sure I'm going to do the 26 mile route, but that 43 mile route keeps calling my name...might be a race-day decision (haven't registered yet).  I just keep thinking back to the last 40+ ride I did last fall, which was emotionally very tough on me.  I've no guarantee this ride will go the same way though.  That one could have just been a bad day for me.  I can't stop imagining how awesome it would feel to conquer that distance again with much less strife.  Darn my competitive nature!  Plus, those Olympians who I find on my tv constantly these days really make a girl want to kick some booty!!

Piecemeal

Training is coming along piece by piece.  I'm feeling faster and stronger lately and when I take a break, it doesn't feel as much of a distraction as it once did.  Of course, take anything I say with a grain of salt because tomorrow I might be in a lousy mood and might feel completely different.

Running on Monday nights has become a regular thing for my schedule lately, but last night when my husband came home from his own hill cycling workout, I just wasn't feeling it.  Luckily he's never been one to let me slide by without doing what I've promised I would and he forced me out the door.  Stepping out the door, my plan was to run for 20 minutes and be back to watch our dvr'd episode of Smash (our guilty pleasure show).  However, once I got out there, I felt myself being drawn to keep going forward.  So instead of my usual propensity for cutting the run short because I wasn't feeling it, I was encouraging myself to go just that much further.  This is sooo not like me, but I so desperately want this race to go smoothly and to walk away from my first triathlon wanting to do another one.  I ran 2.34 (or so) miles in 30 minutes for a 12:39 pace.  While it pleases me to see pace numbers other than 14 or 15, I can't help but feel like I am missing out on my potential to do better.  I want to see 11's and 10's and I know I need to do some work to get there.

My swim today was good as well.  I am a complete airhead in the water though.  I am never ever able to keep count of how much I am swimming.  I am completely distracted by other swimmers and things going on outside of the pool.  I am extremely self-conscious about myself in all things athletic, but there is something about the people swimming on either side of me that brings out that horrible voice of self-doubt in my head.  It isn't even about my body image since that is under the water.  I'm sizing up their stroke, their speed and how effortless they look in comparison to what I think I look like.  It gets inside my head and gets all twisted up until I'm convinced that I look like a cat in water and that I have no business swimming in this pool.  The thing I have no business doing is letting all of this garbage in my head.  Triathlons need to include emotional training as well.

This reminds me of this awesome comic from The Oatmeal:

Keep on Truckin'

Here I am in the ninth week of my training with six more weeks to go. Whenever I think about the race, I get a knot in my stomach and my heart rate goes way up. The "trust your training" mantra plays out in my head in response, but it does nothing to quell the nervousness. Last week I attended a beginner's triathlon clinic which was put on by the Trinona race people. There wasn't really anything in it that I hadn't heard or seen before, but it was fun to go and hear about the race.

Since I last blogged, I've done a couple long bike rides, a few swims and one run. My schedule with work and the kids hasn't been ideal for sticking to my schedule as much as I'd like, but I'm trying to make it work.

My husband bought me a bike computer and I used it for the first time on a ride this Sunday.  I am desperate to get faster on the bike and I have to say that this little fella was a big help in that quest.  I watched the mph like a hawk and tried very hard to keep it up as high as I could.  I rode for about 13 miles with a pretty strong tailwind on the way out, which means I had a pretty strong wind in my face the whole way home.  For my race my plan is to do the 11 mile ride in 50 minutes or less, so I'll need to average a pace of about 13mph.  I'm very confident I can do that at this point, but I'd honestly love to do much better.

Last Friday while swimming I noticed first some tightness and then pain in my shoulder while doing the front crawl. I continued on with my laps thinking it would work itself out, but it only continued to hurt more as I swam. I haven't been in the pool since then, so I am hoping I've given it enough time to heal. I plan to swim tonight if I can fit it in. It is a big day at our house, my son has a performance tonight at his school and we're all very excited!

A little push

My son began his spring break last Friday, so my daily schedule is a bit messed up.  I wasn't able to squeeze a workout in on Friday or all day Saturday and by 8pm I was really feeling lousy because I needed to move!  I posted this on Facebook:

That's my sister-in-law there commenting on my status update (names and faces have been deleted to protect the innocent, haha).  This is the important part: "(I have you to thank!!)"  Yikes!  Right there I felt like I had an expectation to set and it really kicked my butt into gear.  By 8:38pm I was in the garage grabbing my bike and heading downstairs to set it up on the trainer.  I had two new episodes on the DVR of New Girl and I biked through both of them.  I biked hard, like I had something to prove.  It was great!  Note: I did have a little trouble with the trainer set up.  I missed a key part and when I got on my bike I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with my gears.  Nope - I just forgot to tighten up the resistance wheel on the back tire.  Doh!

I also made it to my regular Sunday evening swim at the gym.   The pool was surprisingly full for that time of day and I shared a lane with two separate people.  Sharing a lane made me once again feel like I had something to prove because, my goodness, STRANGERS were watching me!  I swam hard.  I got overheated easily and although I got in just over 500 yards in a fairly short time, I was hot and felt icky afterward.  I was so hot that I had to skip my usual 5 minute dip in the hot tub post swim.  :-(

My son is staying with my parents for a few days, so we took advantage of having only one child who is easily transportable in a stroller and Sunday evening my husband and I busted out an invigorating 3 mile walk!  It was awesome.

Fantastico

I had a dish at the cafeteria today called Pasta Fantastico (penne, spinach, sun dried tomatoes, red pepper and parmesan cheese) and I really enjoyed the name of it.  It was tasty, too!

Things are going well these days and I feel like I've fallen into a nice regular routine with my workouts and even with my eating.  This past Friday my husband and I took the day off, mostly to catch a matinee of The Hunger Games, but also to sneak in a bike ride while the weather was nice.  We did about 13 miles on trails through town and it was very nice.  I'm getting to know my bike more and more every time I ride it and that helps with making me feel comfortable about racing on it this summer.  I finally kind of know which gear does what and where I need to be on big hills, downhills, etc.  Since I came to biking from a 3 gear cruiser, adding the extra gears and knowing what to do with them has been tough.

I wasn't able to get out and do anything on Saturday because we had our two nephews over for the weekend.  We played outside and I cleaned the garage, so I did get some movement in.  On Sunday I had a glorious day at the pool. I had been looking online at some swimming videos, just to see what those who really know what they're doing look like. My husband had been in some swimming classes with a coach at our gym that is really into immersion swimming and I decided to check that out:

 

Did you see how fluidly that guy moved?! I feel like I look like a cat that somebody threw into the water when I swim. That video got me thinking - what could I do to begin to move more like that guy? We also have a few books laying around the house on the subject, so I paged through one Saturday night while the kids were playing. Some things really stood out to me, especially the idea that swimming as hard and as fast as you can every single time you swim will not help to increase your speed, efficiency or endurance. This book was telling me to swim on my side and extend through my glide as much as I could and I would then feel like you're swimming downhill. Huh. So when I got into the pool on Sunday I had all of these thoughts running through my head and I really tried to concentrate on moving fluidly, extending my strokes and spending more time on my side. It worked! I used the pool buoy for a bunch of laps and I was feeling like I could swim all day. Even when I took the buoy out, I found that I was moving so much better than I had been before. My breathing was slow and constant, it was great! It felt like zen swimming and I was beginning to feel like that guy in the video (who knows what I actually LOOKED like though!). I was able to continually swim more than I ever had before. Yesterday I was able to get to the gym during work and get in a one mile run on a treadmill and about 200-250 yards in the pool. My swimming was once again so much more efficient than before Sunday.

Even my running was better yesterday.  I only did one mile because I was bored and couldn't wait to get back into the pool.  I tried pushing my speed though and felt really comfortable at 6.5 mph for short periods - um, that's a 9:17 min mile!  That is unheard of.  Of course, that was coupled with running mostly at 5mph and walking at 4mph, so it all basically worked out to be a 13 min mile.  But it is a start!

Pain in the...

My back is at it again.  I really wish I could pin point the source of the pain, but I have no idea what the cause could be.  I had been thinking it was picking up my daughter, but she hasn't been that interested in being picked up now that she's spending more and more time outside exploring.  I do find that I notice the pain mostly when I am sitting or laying in bed.  Maybe that is a sign that I need to be up and moving more!  I'm also thinking that my desk set up at work isn't very ergonomic and I may look into having someone come and assess my set up.

Thankfully it doesn't hurt when I swim.  I took yesterday off both because I need a day off in my training schedule every week and to rest my back a bit.  I plan to swim today and am looking forward to it.  I've been doing some reading and video watching on technique and am excited to try some new things out.

Weigh-in went very well yesterday.  I'm down another 2 lbs.  I calculated what my total weight loss would be by race day if I lost on average 2 lbs per week and I would be down 50 lbs total since I started this whole process one year ago.  Now if that's not motivation to give it my all, I don't know what is!!!

Progress - or lack there of

I am mad.
I am working so hard, but I feel like I am making no progress.  I really think my problem is that I am going by the wrong numbers.  That darn scale just will not move!  I think I need to lock Mr. Scale away somewhere for a while and focus more on my training progress in each sport.  Then who knows, maybe when I pull my old friend back out, he might be kinder to me.

This weekend I biked to/from a friend's house on Saturday even though we had nearly hurricane strength wind gusts, but it felt so good to use an alternative mode of transport other than on just my commute to work.  On Sunday I did the swim thing and it was one of the best swims so far.  The pool was nearly empty and I was able to get in about 400 yards without too much rest in between each lap.  I switched between front crawl, front crawl with the buoy, flutter kicking with the board, back stroke and some side stroke for my cool down.  It felt great!  THAT is the kind of progress that needs to be my focus.

I treated myself with a haircut today.  I have naturally curly hair and a while ago I had tried out the Deva cut in order to enhance my curls.  I hated it.  It thinned out the ends of my hair way too much and just wasn't a flattering shape.  I let it grow out for - gosh - somewhere over six months, I think.  I was constantly throwing my hair up in a ponytail before/after swimming and before/after biking and I was loathing the ponytail.  So I took the plunge today and walked out of the salon with a bob that is just above my chin.  It feels SO good.  The stylist even commented on how thick my hair is and how much of it I have.  And here I had been thinking it was getting thin, but I guess it was just that stupid cut.  Phew!

I biked to work today.  It is still pretty warm and humid here.  I had no idea how to dress for the weather.  Give me under 20 degrees and I know just what to wear, but 62 at 7:30am?!  No idea.  I went with  my very light bike jacket and a short sleeve jersey with shorts.  I was a little toasty in the jacket, but it was good with the wind.  I'm looking forward to keeping it in the bag for the ride home!

Bad scale

*sigh* Wednesday is my weigh-in day.  The scale was kind, but not as kind as I feel like the amount of work I've done this past week should have warranted.  Whenever this happens I tend to look at what I've been doing and eating and find something I can change to hopefully boost my results in the next week.  I certainly can't fit any more exercise into my schedule, so that's not something I can change.  So this week I'm looking at making two more simple changes:

1. Stairs.  I'm that person that rides the elevator two floors.  Yep.  I know you've stared people like me down or made remarks when we've left the elevator...

For me, it isn't the climbing that I don't like.  It is what happens to me when I do climb stairs - or walk briskly - or even THINK about moving.  If you've had the pleasure of being with me during any one of those activities or more, you've undoubtedly noticed something unusual about my physical self.  My face turns bright red, no - bright purple.  Even the slightest bit of movement (okay, maybe more than the slightest) and I am all strawberry up top.  I can't help it.  This problem has plagued me since childhood.  No matter how fit or how thin I've been, this problem has never gone away, so I can assure you it isn't a case of being too out of shape.  It is just who I am.  Same goes for whenever I'm the least bit embarrassed, mad, or frustrated and even sometimes when I am not.  I cannot control it.  And it sucks.  So, imagine me walking up two flights of stairs to a meeting and walking in looking like I've just run 3 miles.  People make comments.  They're concerned for me.  "Are you okay?  Do you need some water?!"  No.  No no no.  I'm just ME.  So I ride the elevator.  BUT I know this is an easy thing I can do to add in a little extra exercise every day.  I guess for the meantime I'll just have to put up with the peanut gallery chiming in about how I look from time to time.

2. (I'm really scared to go here...) I am addicted to Diet Coke.  Ugh!  There, I said it!  Do I dare to attempt to curb my addiction?

I drink about one 20oz bottle during the day (this is cumulative, I usually drink only half of two different 20oz bottles - I know, I know, this problem has been documented) and between 1 and 2 cans a night.  I'm not ready to go cold turkey, so I was thinking about trying to just keep my first-thing-in-the-morning bottle and switching to water/crystal light for all other beverages.  Can I really sustain my thirst with WATER?!?  Will it really help?  Who knows...but I am willing to try!

*update* I originally wrote this post yesterday and have since not really put these items officially into action.  I HAVE used the stairs much more today than I usually do, but I'm on bottle #2 (but only my second half total of the day) of Diet Coke.  Also, as an fyi, I took a bit of a mental health day off of work yesterday and I did not exercise at all.  I am switching my weekly rest day from Friday to Wednesday, so I will be visiting the gym tomorrow.

I did swim today over my lunch hour with my husband.  We had a great time, but I was struggling a bit today to keep my mind and breathing focused.  I am trying out the new things that I learned at my swim lesson on Tuesday and maybe that is what's throwing me off.  It was a good workout regardless of how difficult it was for me.  Sadly, I did not get into the swim lesson class again for April.  I totally forgot to wake up and call in to register this morning and when I did call in, my Tuesday class was full.  I'm on the waiting list and am hoping to talk to Amy next week to see if there might be room for me.  If I don't get in, I'll still swim on my own on Tuesdays and maybe try for the class again in May.

Food, drink and more food

I ate my way through the weekend, but I did also manage to get some really great training in, so hopefully it all evens out in the end.

On Saturday afternoon it was 63 degrees in the Twin Cities, which was where we were spending our weekend.  My husband and I bought a brand new bike rack for the car before leaving home.  We packed up my road bike and his brand new tri-bike for what would be its first time off of the indoor trainer.  We brought the bikes out to Harriet Island in St. Paul and got ready to enjoy a great ride in beautiful weather.  About one minute on the trail and we realized that the extra snow storm that the Cities had (that missed us in Rochester) left extra snow on the trails that had turned to ice and had not melted yet.  We both nearly wiped out going through two patches of slush.  It was an easy decision to stick to the streets after that.  We managed just over 12 miles and it was so fun and such a beautiful day.  Admittedly I did have some trouble getting up a very steep, large hill, but Mike was there to "push" me up.  Considering my training schedule only required 4 miles on the bike this weekend, I think I can safely say my weekend bike training was successful.

On Sunday I met up with two of my sisters-in-law for some swimming.  They are both excellent swimmers as they swam on teams in high school, so I was certainly the newbie there.  They gave me some great tips and help with my stroke and we even practiced some flip turns.  We burned off some calories swimming and gabbing and then ate all of those calories back (and then some) with a brunch later that afternoon.

I am back to clean eating and onto a day of running on this wet Monday...

Breathe

I'm not very good at breathing.  I'm not good at it when I am swimming.  Not good at it when I am running.  I'm not even very good at it when I am sitting still.  I hold my breath a lot.  I suspected this was a problem whenever I attended yoga classes in the past and my breathing never matched up with the slow relaxed breaths the instructor demonstrated.  I tried, but I could never regulate my breathing.  I'm guessing swimming is more than 50% about the breathing.  I'm trying, I really am, but every once and a while I panic mid stroke and suck in a mouth/nose full of water.  I am improving though.  My swimming instructor gave me some exercises and some really great tips on Tuesday and I put them into practice today.  One thing I'd really like to work on is counting my laps!  I'm paying so much attention to my stroke, my breathing and to not swimming into my lane partner that I have so far failed to gather any sense of how much or how far I am swimming.  I need to swim with coins in my pocket and leave one at the end of the lane when I've finished 50 yards, haha.  Right, because I need to carry that extra weight with me!

Speaking of lane partners, I've had the same one - a cute boy - for the past two Thursdays: my husband!  We use our lunch hour to share a lane and I have to say it has been the highlight of my past 2 weeks.  :-)

Me?! Tri?!

I'm resurrecting this blog 2 1/2 + years after my last post.  My life has changed a lot since June 2009 and I feel compelled to share my journey again.

Let's see - since 2009, I've had another child (a daughter, she's 17 months old), I've gained many pounds, I've lost many pounds, I tried running again, I signed up for the Twin Cities 10 Mile, I decided not to run the Twin Cities 10 mile, I reinforced my hatred for running, I purchased a new road bike, I biked my first organized bike ride, I biked my second organized bike ride, I officially became a winter bike commuter and most importantly, I registered for my very first triathlon.

With my shift in focus from running to biking, I decided that I wanted to give a sprint triathlon a try.  The race includes a .25 mile swim, 11 mile bike and 5k run.  Yes, I still have to run.  Boo.  But at least in my training I will also have days where I get to do activities that I like instead of always thinking "oh god, do I have to run again?!"  But, this also means that I need to begin a new sport: swimming.  The only swimming I've done in my adulthood is the occasional "dip in the pool" on vacations.  I've never swam a lap in my life and here I am faced with needing to do 17+ lengths of the pool during the race - in open water.  Eeek.

So, I signed up for swim lessons through my gym.  6 people are in my advanced beginner lesson with Amy on Tuesdays through the month of March.  My first class was last week.  I was sick-nervous about it for days.  It wasn't the actual swimming that was scaring me, it was the logistics of going to the gym to swim.  I am very very locker room-shy and this causes me great stress with every visit to the gym, but this time I was adding a swim suit to the mix.  I was petrified.  Somehow I made it through and found myself standing next to the pool.  In my suit.  In public.  Once the class started I relaxed and began to enjoy myself.  I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I felt so comfortable and happy in the water.  I came into the pool with no ability to breathe in the water and I left class being able to do about 50 yards fairly well.

Since my class last week I've been in the pool three more times (Wed, Thurs and Sun).  I've also put together a training schedule based on a few that I found online.  I am on day three.  This is all so exciting...BUT...I have yet to throw running back into the mix.  * cue ominous music *

Running and I have such a hate-hate relationship.  I'm not sure how I am going to make this work.  I've done plenty of 5k races, but on fresh legs and lungs. Only time will tell if this is going to work for me.

I have my second swim lesson in just a little while.  I can't wait to get back into the pool!